Fathers

(This is a rerun of last year’s Father’s Day post. I thought it deserved another run. Happy Father’s Day to the three great fathers in my life!)

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

It’s Father’s Day weekend and there is so much to say about fathers.  Father’s Day is a bittersweet remembrance for me.  My own father abandoned our family many years ago.  I haven’t seen him in upwards of two decades.  He’s never met most of his grandchildren.  I’m not sure he knows some of them exist.  Sad.

You would think with an experience like mine, I would be ripe for bitterness around Father’s Day but nothing could be further from the truth.  Despite not having a dad of my own, the Lord in His gracious providence has filled that hole in my life tenfold!

First he brought my dear husband into my life.  What a diamond in the rough he was but I liked him!  I had no idea the adventure the Lord had in store for me when Mr. P came sauntering into that Banana Republic where I worked nearly 27 years ago.  How my life changed in that providential moment!  One of the ways the Lord changed my life was through Grandman, as he’s affectionately called by his grandchildren.

I met my husband and before I knew he was going to be my husband, he acclimated me into some of his dearest friendships.  One of those family friends was Grandman.  Grandman is the father of my husband’s best childhood friend.  I spent many hours at Grandman’s table.  I spent many hours under his wise counsel and leadership.  He was my father when I had none.  He was my stability when I had none.  He was my wisdom when I had none.  He showed me the love of Christ when my mind wasn’t even stayed on such things.  Grandman was, and continues to be, as dear to me as any father could be to his girl.  He and his dear wife are a treasure to our family.  They have children and grandchildren of their own but that never stopped them from loving the handfuls of young people that found their way to their kitchen table and needed them for small things and sometimes big things.  They love us all even now that we’re a lot little older and a lot little grayer.  Grandman married us, coming up on 26 years ago.  My life wouldn’t be the same without him.

My own sweet father-in-law is especially dear to me.  He embodies all the qualities I see in my husband and I love him for the love lessons he passed on to the man who is in turn passing them on to our own children.  He is a noble man of honor, selfless and giving to all of his children and grandchildren.  He has made me feel loved and a part of the family since the day I met him at his front door when Mr. P was cooking a special dinner for me at his house.  He probably doesn’t remember that day, but I do.  He was so welcoming.  Over the years he put up with all our childish antics.  He never criticized us even when we were doing something ridiculous and he knew it.  He just accepted us as his children and loved us anyway.  When it came time to name our baby boy… the baby boy that was a special redemptive gift of God, we knew he needed a special name.  We named him after my father-in-law.  Those are big and lofty shoes to fill but we want to give our son a challenge and we hope he makes his namesake proud.

Then there is the greatest father I know.  My husband.  When he came rolling up in that jeep with no doors in cowboy boots and a swagger, I (foolishly) wasn’t evaluating him for what kind of father he would be.  I just thought his quiet confidence was intoxicating.  Thankfully, the Lord’s providential hand was guiding my steps because I was getting the best father a girl could hope to have for her babies.  Like his own father, my husband takes such joy in his children.  He calls to ask me to keep the baby up so he can say goodnight to him before he goes to bed.  He thinks of amazing ‘thrill seeking adventures’ to take the children on.  He sacrifices many of his own hobbies and toys for the children’s hobbies and toys.  If they need it, he provides it.  If they want it, he moves heaven and earth to give it.  He would do absolutely anything to make us happy.  Anything.  I have to be careful not to take advantage of that.  It’s a nice problem to have.

What does it take to be a good father or even a great father?  Passionate love and devotion for family, staunch integrity, sacrificial love, and humility before the greatest Father of them all.

And I have three such men in my life.  I am richly blessed!

Happy Father’s Day to the world’s three best fathers!

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him. ~Psalm 103:13

Goodbye, *COLD* cruel world.

You see what I did there, right? Emphasis on the cold. Why would I do that on May 6th? I live in the deep south after all. By May 6th people in the deep south have ruddy skin and mosquito bites. Not this May 6th. This May 6th the high is 53 degrees and I’m typing this under a blanket with my wool socks.

I was born for heat. The only thing that keeps me alive between December and March is the promise of spring. Oh April pulls its stunts from time to time. A cold snap here. Frost on the dogwoods there. But by May I’m in the pool. Guaranteed.

This May I’m suffering from seasonal affective disorder. Sure last winter was perpetual summer and I sang with joy even though it ruined all the peaches. I can live without peaches if it means I’m barefoot in January. But, I didn’t ask for that amazing non-winter last year. I want that duly noted. I should not be punished this way because if I had known having no winter to speak of last year meant perpetual winter this year… well, I wouldn’t have taken that deal for all the tea in China. I’ll pay my winter dues and try not to complain *too* much, but BY GOLLY WHEN MAY GETS HERE I BETTER BE SWEATING UNDER THE RED BUD TREE. I can’t see how that’s too much to ask.

Because the deep south has decided to become the deep freeze, I’m exploring my options. Guam has year round summer I’m told. Belize also boasts a good many 100+ degree days. Their spotty indoor plumbing and WiFi has me a tad concerned. I’m not going to lie. Plus is Belize truly close enough to the equator? Because I’ve come to the conclusion I’m not going to be happy too far from the equator.

As I look into my beloved equator, I notice the vegetation and insects get larger and larger. The equator has cockroaches the size of Shaquille O’Neal’s basketball shoe. I’m not OK with that.

So, all I can really do is sit here in the wool socks that should have been collecting dust in the back of the drawer for two months now and face the reality that I may not make it to summer with my sanity intact. At this rate, there will be no summer. Is this what nuclear winter feels like? It does seem like what I imagined when I watched those filmstrips.

Y’all go on about your lives and don’t mind me. I’m curled up in the fetal position crying. If the terrorist regimes ever want to get state secrets out of me, all they need to do is stick me in never-ending winter. It’s my Achilles heel. (This might be why no one ever tells me secrets.)

I’m rambling now but you’ll have to excuse me. I’m dying a slow frosty death. This is the big one, Elizabeth! I’m coming!

Sorrow

My sweet daughter and her noble husband lost their baby last night. I was with them at the hospital to get the confirmation of what my daughter already knew was true, she had indeed suffered a miscarriage. I confirmed my deeply held belief that emergency rooms are callous and care-less places. I watched my girl suffer agonizing pain for two hours. I sat completely helpless as we all grieved the loss of a most wanted and celebrated baby. It ranks right up there in the top ten worst days of my life.

There is deep sorrow when you experience pain and loss firsthand, but when you watch your child experience pain and loss the sorrow rises to a level I didn’t know was possible. I would do anything to have lived last night for her, to have taken the hurt on myself, to have made everything right again, to have spared her this hard providence. But I can’t. I am a sideline spectator and my heart can’t do anything but suffer because she is suffering. And sideline suffering is a really intense suffering.

At one point I drove home in the middle of the night to get some things she needed and even though I know God is sovereign, even though I understand that He is good, even though I realize His ways are not my ways, I still asked Him why. Why my girl? Why her baby? Why my grandbaby? Why now? Why ever?

I don’t know why.

But I do know the Lord’s grace is sufficient to carry her and her husband through this suffering. His grace is sufficient to carry me through the awful place of helplessly watching my daughter suffer and not being able to make it better. His grace is sufficient and He is worthy to be praised even in the hard providences of life.

I would covet your prayers for my daughter and her husband. Their hearts are broken. His parents’ hearts are broken. Our hearts are broken. We all had already fallen so hopelessly in love with that tiny baby.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore. Psalm 121

I MUST QUILT!

I have a grandbaby coming soon and I must learn to quilt properly. It has become a burning obsession, like I don’t have a list of new projects the size of Manhattan.  But that’s nothing unusual. I am going to make a fabulous quilt for every one of my grandbabies starting with this one, but first I have to learn how… really learn. Not just fake it like I’ve been doing.

My last two babies haven’t had the blessing of a quilt from my husband’s devoted aunt who sent every great-niece and great-nephew the most beautiful quilts. She passed away and since all my other children have a special quilt, I took it upon myself to make one for my youngest two. Noah’s turned out fairly well considering I cannot sew a straight line to save my life and I have to get one of my children to re-thread the machine every so often.

Seth’s quilt is still sitting on my side table waiting for me to hand quilt it, a project I’m going to get right on before he turns two next month. If he’s lucky, I’ll be done with it before he’s ten.

But he will be lucky because I’ll have a houseful of grandchildren by the time he’s ten and therefore I’ll be a quilter on fire by then!

This woman is my inspiration.  She pops out these in a day or two. I’m trying not to covet raw, God given talent. That would not be right. And I’m nothing if not right.

So quilting is my new obsession. Can you call something an obsession that you’ve done twice in your life and not very well those two times?